And the Verdict is???

It would seem the genetics is winning in my house!

When I was in my late 20's I went to a conference hosted by the Learning Disabilities Association of Ontario. I won a scholarship to attend and heard many doctors and experts talk about Dyslexia. Even back then, they were making strides in understanding and supporting students with learning challenges. During the question period I ask "As a Dyslexic how likely is it that I'll pass it on to any future children?" The doctor answered, "there's a 50/50 chance based on genetics that you might pass it on."

Well, on Thursday (for those who have been following the blog) we got our answer to our middle son's Psycho-educational Assessment. After two days of testing he has average IQ, confirmed ADHD-Inattentive type, and....... DYSLEXIA..... Yup, I am batting two for two. Even though the results of his having a learning difference didn't surprise us, as a mom I think I always knew, we were hoping it was something else, we were still a little bit shocked.

The meeting with our Psychologist went as expected. It was a lot of numbers, information and time for discussion around what we do now. Do we leave him a French Language school? Do we move to the private system? How far behind is he really? What does this all mean for the future?

These meetings are never easy and often emotional. I know for sure I cried a little during the meeting. As the Dyslexic one in my house I take/took on the feeling that it was my fault. Intellectually I know this to not be true, but as a mother who does everything to protect them and love them I found it hard not blame myself. In the moment, while hearing the results it was hard not wish things had been different.

So what now you ask? You have all the information what are you going to do now?

I'll try my level best to map it out for you.

For those going down the road for the first time, and this is important, remember that nothing happens over night. Remember that even with a learning difference our kids can still function and become amazing, productive and important people in society. No one should write any child or family off because of a learning difference.

Step one:

We've decided that for our family, for right now, it makes the most sense to leave him in the French Language school he's currently in. Will this make things easy for him? Heck NO. My husband and I have weighted it out. We've talked it out. We've taken different sides at different times. But in the end, for our family, for at the least the end of this school year and begging of the next school year, we're going to stay the course.

Step two:

Get tutors on board! Yup you read it right... We can't support our son on this journey alone. We need help, and though we are both teachers by profession, this is more then us just reading with him more. So we've booked in right away with the same tutoring school our eldest used. We have a relationship with the agency and we feel confident that'll be able to support, create and move forward on a program that will help boost his reading skills and confidence. He starts next week and will go twice a week for an hour for the next 8 weeks remaining in school.

Over the summer it will be on myself and my husband to keep him learning and growing. We'll have some guidance but in the end it will be group effort.

Step three:

Get the school on board. First thing Thursday night upon pick up of the kids, we told his classroom and resource teacher. The funny thing is none of them thought he might be Dyslexic. Though some think it odd that they don't clue in, remember that teachers are just teachers. They are not clinicians who can diagnose, and sometimes kids who are bright, articulate and easy going can fly under the radar. Our sons school and teachers are amazing and provide him with more support then we could imagine.

They are already getting the paper work together for him to have lap top to support him. The resource teacher has been emailing me this weekend with ideas on how she'll help and talking to me about which days he's at tutoring so she doesn't work with him on those days, so he's not over worked or stressed. The lines of communication need to be solid with us and the school. In order to support our son, we need to work together as a team on the same side with the same goal.

Is this road going to be easy? NOPE! Is it going to be worth it? I sure hope so.

But we have two big things going for our family. Firstly, we have one Dyslexic in the family who's done well. Who's gotten further then anyone thought and continues to do well. Secondly, we have one child who is doing well. Everyday we see progress and he continues to work hard. With two role models in the house and with the ability to reach out, advocate and find support I know he's going to be fine.

We know that plans might change. We might make a shift at some point, but for now we stick to our plan. We'll just take things as they come. I'll continue to post updates and progress. It's a journey I was hoping none of my kids would have to take, but I know it's not insurmountable. Together we can help lift them to their highest heights!