5 Tips to Support ADHD Kids Over the Holiday Season
Holidays can be an amazing time of year. There’s so much excitement, parties and late nights. For those families with children who have challenges with self-regulation or IMPULSIVENESS (ADHD, anxiety, depression, autism) it can be a tough holiday to navigate. This weeks blog is all about simple things you can do make sure that your family is able to enjoy the season with as little stress as possible. It’s a fun time of year for our kids, lets make sure it’s fun for you too!
Holidays and Kids with Differences
The holidays are a magical time of year for young and old alike. There’s love, laughter and the excitement of seeing family, gifts and lots of special events. For children who struggle with attention disorders with or without the hyperactivity, anxiety, depression, or autism it can be overwhelming. This time of year is full of sensory overload from the music, to the lights, to the smells. If you have a child who struggles at a regular time of year to manage their emotions and behaviour on a regular day, this time of year can be tough.
In a normal day your child knows what’s coming. They know they get up, brush teeth, eat breakfast, go to school, come home, do homework, eat dinner, maybe an activity and then go to bed. This time of year is full of uncertainties, changes to family schedules and sometimes people staying in your home, or you staying in other peoples homes. We always think of children as being able to just “roll” with whatever the plan is. For some kids that’s totally possible, but for some kids (and mine are no exception) this change can mean a child who is more hyper and anxious. Families with children on the spectrum, with anxiety or any other emotional challenge, work hard to keep their day to day predictable. Children who struggle to manage their emotions often count on the adults to maintain a structure that at this time year just isn’t so easy to keep predictable.
5 Tips for supporting your child with Self-Regulation over the holidays
So you ask how do I as a parent of child who needs structure deal with the holidays? Do I as the parent, have to keep the same structure in a time of year that sometimes requires flexibility? How can I help my child through this busy and exciting time of year without feeling as though all the fun is being taken out as well? Can my child enjoy the holiday’s like any other child?
What can you do to help your child over the holiday?
Let them know what activities are happening
One of the biggest things that can help your child with their emotional regulation during the holidays is to tell them in advance. Make sure they have lots of notice about what events or activities are coming up. It might even be helpful to create a “Holiday Calendar” that has a list of the events in one place. As a family you can create it together. This will help you to know what’s coming but also allow your child to see ahead of time the events they are going to be involved with.
Set the expectations clearly
One of the things that helps children the most is understanding what is expected of them from the very beginning. Before you go to that show, the Christmas Dinner or church, make sure your child knows what you expect of them. If you’re going to a show they not be kicking the seat in front of them so maybe a fidget toy is needed, they can’t yell out in the middle of the show, if there are sensory issues with noise maybe take their headphones. Make sure they know the lights will be turned off but that they’ll still be able to see. Are you going to a fancy dinner with lots of people? Explaining what is expected of them during that meal before head is important. Perhaps they have to wear fancy clothing (I don’t know about your kids but my kids would rather be in PJ’s all day….) and they don’t like that. Set those expectations early.
Get family and friend support
Every family wants to ensure that all their loved ones can have an enjoyable holiday. Make sure you talk to your family and friends about what you’re child might need. If you know, for example, that open flames on candles, at say the dinner table, is something that your child can’t handle, say something. Don’t assume that everyone understands what your child need. All your friends and family love you and your child, but you might have to tell them specifically what you need. If your child has an allergy to a food you would say something to keep them safe. This is no different. In order for you, your child and whatever event your at to be successful your child has be able to feel safe. Ask for help and be open.
Try and stick to a bedtime routine
Holidays are busy and often our routines get off track with late nights and excitement of the days events. Try to keep the routine at bedtime the same. If your normal routine is put on PJ’s, brush teeth, read a story or two and then snuggle try and keep that going. So even if they are going to bed an hour or two later then normal keeping the overall routine the same will help keep them grounded. Knowing that even with the change of day to day routines their bedtime routine will remain the same can keep evening stress to a minimum.
Praise and Reward the good behaviour
Living up to expectations of adults can be hard for some kids. It’s hard for them to sit still, not wiggle around, being over stimulated by the senses around them is exhausting. When you see them doing something awesome at an event, take a second and tell them. At the end of an evening or event tell them how well they did. Pick a few things you notice specially and tell them they did great. It’s so important for us as the adults to recognized and comment when our kids who struggle with self-regulate when they have done a great job!
Holidays are an exciting time for all kids and adults. Keeping expectations simple for kids with ADHD, Autism, Depression and Anxiety can make it a happier time of year for everyone!
Final Thoughts
No matter what your holiday plans are, weather you celebrate or not, your ultimate goal is to ensure your child’s success for the events or days that might be a bit more challenging. To do this you have to set them up for success. It is by no means an easy job but one that will mean so much to your child. The holiday season is an exciting one for adults and children but one that can also bring on stresses. Keep is fun, keep it as predictable as you can and everyone will have a happy and successful holiday!
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