One Step Forward..... One Tiny Step Back
For kids with learning challenges, or any child at all really, summer is always a time of great growth. It’s a time for new adventures and challenges. Sometimes there are amazing gains which surpass what we might have been expecting. Other times something comes out of nowhere and knocks you over. Whichever way it goes it’s all growth and celebrating the small wins is as important as the big wins.
Both our boys are home from camp!
What a summer it’s been this year for our family. We took an amazing family road trip to Halifax and back. During the trip we got to see our boys grow and take on new things. After that our summer took us to the cottage for a heap of outdoor time along with a decrease in the screen time. The main activity for our boys this summer was each of them going to summer camp. Our eldest went to sleepover camp for 10 days while our middle child sent to sleepover camp for 12 days. Both have come home full of stories, dirty and with a heap of dirty laundry. All signs point to a positive summer holiday if only for a few, and really as I type this I have to remind myself of this, very small hiccups to an otherwise perfect summer holiday.
Focus on the Good!!!
It’s always best to try and focus on the good I find and so I’ll tell you all the amazing growth and positive’s we saw in our boys and there were many!!! Many small mountains were won. With each small win our kids gained confidence as well as understanding of how much they are capable of.
For our eldest - He became much more social this summer. Over the past few years making friends has never been easy. It’s been difficult for him to create meaningful friendships as he has trouble, still at age 10, understanding that he has to share ideas and be flexible. The biggest win of all for us this summer was he attended his summer camp medication free, and short of one five minute blip, managed friendships, activities and challenges really well.
For our middle child - The number of wins he had this summer are huge. If you asked him the biggest win for him, I think he’d say, was that he is now willing to ride behind the boat in a tube. He started the summer saying he didn’t want too and by the end we couldn’t keep him out. LOL. For us as parents, his biggest win was going off to sleep away camp for 12 days. He made so many new connections with peers and again has a bucket of stories to go along with them.
Sometimes we’re tested
not to show our
weakness, but to
discover our strengths.
- unknown
A Few Set Back…. Remember the Wins, Learn from the Falls.
So you read the above and think… Well that sounds so positive, both kids grew, they had fun and have amazing stories to share. They for sure have all of those. But as the parent at the end of the summer I am feeling…. Mixed emotions I guess, something that is becoming all to familiar for me in my role as the guide for my children.
Our middle child’s “set back” - Using the word “set back” for our middle child is maybe not fair. He struggled at camp with being homesick, all of which is 100% normal given it was only his second time away and he’s still very only 7 (almost 8 he’ll remind me). What we are now more aware of is his need to have a sleep study done. His small pit fall at camp was not being able to sleep well, which I think led to his homesickness. Nothing worse then not sleeping well, being tired and in a new space. There’s more to come on that topic but sleep has always been a troublesome area for him. Struggle to fall asleep and then many nights the struggle to stay asleep.
Our eldest - Oi…. Even as I write this I don’t know how to write it. As I said he’d been doing amazing. I got a call from the director at the half way point and it was rare sunshine call. I did a blog about what a Sunshine Call if you’re not sure what one of those is, but I sure hope you do. The director had nothing but good things to say, he was involved, engaged, making friends, and though he was homesick and having a few struggles he was doing well…. I was so happy I cried after after the call. To finally get some really positive feedback after the few years of struggle was so amazing.
Fast forward about 4 days or so to the morning of pick up. I check my email before leave for pick up and there’s an email… from the director. It seems the afternoon before he had a tantrum, ruined an outing for a group of boys and damaged some property. Queue heart sinking and all sorts of other emotions. One little five minute interaction feels like a kick to the gut….. His impulse control is just not there yet.
What’s Next?
Moving forward, because this can’t be where we focus, with a good open conversation with him about how if it had been somewhere different, if he had been older, if the people around where different how the outcome would have been so different. Not because we want to scare him, not because we want to shame him, but because he needs to understand that thinking (which for kids with ADHD is not easy) before he acts is important, but more importantly that there are potential consequences to his actions.
We are starting a program in the fall, like the first week of school, called Young Warriors through Integra-Child Development Institute which combines martial arts and mindfulness. We’ll continue to work with him on the challenges of his behaviour and support him. Most importantly, and I feel like this is the one thing that’s key, we’ll love him, listen and continue work with him through the struggles.
Do I worry about what happens as he gets older? Sure do. Do I think we have more bumps in the road? Heck YES! But I’ll do everything I can to keep him moving forward to be the amazing man I know he can be!
And for our middle child, no I didn’t forget him LOL! We’re going to get answers to his sleepless nights. We’ll continue to encourage him to try new things and step outside his comfort box.
As parents that’s all we can do!
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June can be a scary time of year for those who struggle with transitions. Looking at BIG T Transitions and little t transition can help you build a transition to ensures the success of your child.