5 Tips for Supporting Your Child to Advocate
Are you looking for ways to support you struggling student in being able to advocate for their needs? Not sure on where to start with teaching or talking to your child about their learning needs? This week on the blog the focus is all about tools and ideas on how to start the discussion. It’s sometimes tough to know how much to share with your child without creating fear or anxiety about their needs.
How do you start explaining to your child about their learning difference?
Help you child jump the gaps by understanding their needs and differences in a positive light.
One of the biggest surprise my clients have is when I ask if they’ve shared their child’s IEP (Individual Education Plan) with their child. Often I get a blank stare, an uneasy feeling seems to come over them and they say “but won’t that make them feel badly?”
In response to all of it, I tell my clients how can your child understand what they need without understanding why they need it. When your child needs glasses you take the time to go and pick frames, talk about how having the glasses is a tool to help them and how important it is to wear them. It should be no different with and IEP. Just like the glasses, that IEP is a tool, a why to support your child see better how they learn and how to access important parts of their learning.
In this weeks blog I’ll give you 5 tips of ways to start the conversation and open the door for you child take their tools into action, understand why they need them and then be able to articulate to teachers, professors and those they work for and with what they need to be successful. Asking for help is are but it’s made harder if we don’t understand why it is we need the help.
1. Show your child their IEP
If you child is struggling at school chances are they have an IEP. Chances are that you and the classroom teacher or school staff are creating that document without the students in ,put or voice. Has anyone asked the student what they think needs to be there? I am going to guess that no one has thought to allow the student to have their voice heard in the document. It’s even possible that your child has no idea that they have an IEP which is an even greater issue.
In order to advocate for themselves students must understand what their struggles are. If they don’t at least know what they struggle with it’s almost impossible for them be able voice what they need. Depending on the age of your child you’ll have different conversation but start with what they think they are good at school, then see where the discussion goes. You don’t have to give them all the information at once but start the conversation.
2. Share your own learning struggles or those of other family and/or friends
I think all too often we don’t want to show our children that we once struggled. Our children see us as the rock and when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and show how we’re not “perfect” it changes to conversation. Yes we need to be strong for our children, but letting them into the part that you struggle with allows them to see it’s OK to say you are having a hard time. As parents we have to dig down to remember sometimes our own learning struggles. We’ve build skills and ways to deal with and seek help. By showing your child how far you’ve come give them a model to follow.
3. Seek professional help if you need to
This is a big one. If your child is struggling finding the right supports means finding the right people to support you. To start with go to your family doctor explain what is happening. Sometimes taking a letter from your child’s school can help. From there they can help you find the right people to support you. When going to visit doctors and professionals be honest with your child.
Tell your child you notice how hard they are working and you are going to help. Part of that help is getting some assessments or support in place. Ask them if the people they are working with or talking to feels like it’s helping. Allow them to guide the journey to success. By keeping the lines open about who they are working along side allows your student to begin advocating for their needs. It allows them to start having their voice heard and understand the value in their words. They matter to outcome!
Find those family, friends and professions who help build you and your family up! Build your support from the ground up!
4. Start from the beginning
Where do you start, you ask? This a common question and it will depend on the age of your child and what their experience has been. For example if your child has been through testing with psychologist then the conversation can start there. Something along the lines of “we’re taking you to see someone find out about you as a learner.” It doesn’t have to more then that. Trust me they’ll ask questions after that, which I promise you’ll be have the answers for.
If you’re not seeing a doctor or psychologist start by talking about how their teachers and yourself as the parents have seen the struggle they are having and how hard they are working. That you are looking for ways to support them to be the best they can because you know they are awesome. Build it as a supportive positive thing (which it is) so that it’s not scary. Explain the challenges you’ve seen and ask them what they think they struggle with. You’ll be surprised by how insightful they can be!
5. Empower your child!!!!!
How do you do that you ask? You give them the information. As an adult we feel empowered to say and do things because we have the knowledge to be able to speak our minds. Our children need that same power. Talk to them openly about their learning needs. Share with them the information the need to make choices and seek the support they need. This will give them confidence and understanding.
Being different, needing help and having struggles should not be left in the dark to hide in a deep corner or ourselves. Put it out there, let it speak and be seen. Our children can handle more then we give them credit for.
Know that your child, no matter their ability, understands they are different. They might not until about grade 3, this is when students become more aware that they are different. They will feel the difference more and the time to really start having those meaningful conversations about who they are as a learner and the things you and their teachers are doing to support them. Remember as the parent you control to narrative to look at your child and make sure you are arming them with the information they need to be successful!
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